Psychologists consider self-esteem as a personality trait it has high and low levels when it becomes low self-esteem it makes Complex psychological problems for oneself and others and making our relationships suffer, that’s why Self-esteem is the backbone of a person’s success. Therefore, I advise you to follow with me to the end of the article to seriously understand the problem, its causes, solutions, method of eliminating it, and reach tangible results that may be the cause of changing your life. because of those reasons self-esteem important!
What is self-esteem meaning/definition?
Self-esteem is an individual’s self-evaluation of his value, it’s about how we see ourselves positively or negatively, according to several external matters such as the relationship of others to him, their reactions, his academic results, the extent of his success at work, the success of his personal relationships, and others.
Based on some of these attitudes, the person begins his self-esteem, positively or negatively, such as saying I do not deserve this or that I am not liked by others, and this may be an early and quick judgment that is not real. But it affects psychologically the person and the extent of his self-confidence and level of his abilities, and it also affects emotionally such as feeling hopeless, shame, or defeat.
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Synonyms or close synonyms for self-esteem
include many things: self-worth, self-integrity, self-regard, and self-respect.
And all of these meanings have levels like self-esteem (low self-esteem and high self-esteem)
what are the major effects on self-esteem levels?
- satisfaction in marriage and personal relationships
- academic achievement
- happiness levels
- criminal behavior
- the extent of success at work
- self-talk (specific attribute for example, “I believe I am a good/bad …)
- genetic factors
- physical appearance or weight
- mental health issues
- socioeconomic status
- peer pressure or bullying.
- Excessive sensitivity to criticism with dissatisfaction from critics.
- Feelings of being attacked.
- The exaggerated fear of mistakes.
- Fear of failure and not being able to complete tasks.
- Pessimism and a generally negative outlook.
- Hate, envy, or resentment.
- Temporary relapses are permanent conditions that are unbearable.
- Dissatisfaction with oneself and any performance performed by the person.
- Feeling neurotic guilt, exaggerating the size of past mistakes.
- Unreality and considering that the intended reactions have worse meanings than they seem.
- The pursuit of perfection in the simplest things, which leads to frustration when it is not achieved.
- Feeling unacceptable from people, especially in social events, and resulting in feelings of hatred against others.
How to fix low self-esteem? boost your low self-esteem by these 10 tips
#1 Discover Your Talents and Improve It
It might seem obvious to some of us. But low self-esteem people are not aware of their abilities and talent or choose to ignore their strengths because of the look that we think others look with it to us.
you may think you are worthless, but you have to avoid these negative thoughts and stop repeating it.
you can discover your self with two ways
- ask the best friend, brother or sister, anyone close to you about your strengths, positive points what makes you different, and any talent noticed
- write a list with top 10 things you are a passion with and talented with even if it just painting or writing fast, so it’s easy to start with it
After getting that list it would be a very good start to boost your low self-esteem and you should start working on them and improve them until you become great in your talent, that all people want to learn it from you. if you want to realize your potential. Develop your strengths points while you spend additional time and effort to work on your weaknesses points too and bridge the gaps there as well.
This book can help you > StrengthsFinder 2.0
#2 Make More Accomplishments
I’m not referring to accomplishing that means winning an award or getting a medal at some sports event. it just achieves of any small goals that you had set, because that goal achievement for anyone is an accomplishment that will increase our self-respect and more proud feelings that will boost the low self-esteem until it becomes high self-esteem after every achievement we make.
Make sure that the goals you set bring satisfaction to yourself. Don’t set goals to please another person or to get praise! you have to think about yourself. you can share your accomplishments on Facebook or Twitter, it can also improve your low self-esteem. Just don’t overdo. Make a note of your achievements on a daily basis so that you know where you stand. It can boost your morale significantly and your low self-esteem.
This book can help you > The 100-Day Goal Journal: Accomplish What Matters to You
#3 Believe In Yourself
This is where self-care is very important. pacify yourself with a massage, a warm bath, diffuse some essential oils on your body (there are many kinds of oils that increase self-love), play with a pet or child, journal, exercise, dine at your favorite place, go for a walk, hang out with someone you feel comfortable with.
basically do activities that make you feel awesome. these activities make you feel great and love your life and your self and that gives you an idea of how you are a valuable person worthy of nice things in life.
Be true to yourself, None of these tips will work if you aren’t honest with yourself. Set reasonable targets and appreciate yourself an that is a very important point at low self-esteem level people, when they need to improve to high self-esteem levels and put some big targets and fail then they getting more Disappointment and a feeling of defeat and hopelessness So, be honest and reasonable.
This book can help you > Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts
#4 Spend time with high self-esteem people/ positives
sitting with a person with a beautiful soul infects others with his beauty.
I adore spending time with people who are positive and who have high self-esteem. They help you to reframe any problem you have is something that will pass. it really helps to change and improve your low self-esteem.
High self-esteem people will make you feel energized and recharged after spending time with them, this will help all who have a low on self-esteem and especially Introvert persons.
because they accept you for who you are, flaws and all, They are open to admitting any mistakes they’ve had, and they will still be supportive of you when you make mistakes by yourself.
This book can help you > The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
#5 Be Kind with Yourself
I like that quote: You can’t get life wrong because there’s no such thing as getting life right.
Everybody makes mistakes. even Successful people make more mistakes than the average person and it might be very big mistakes than normal.
When we ‘fail’ at something, focus on tweaking our strategies. ‘Failures’ are the first steps to success.
‘Failures’ have nothing to do with you as a person. So don’t beat yourself up when you falter.
when I was a kid I was very naughty I made mistakes and wrong actions daily, my dad was repeating that to me
It is not a shame to make mistakes, but the defect is to repeat the mistake.
This book can help you > Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
#6 Beat the inner critic
We All have inner critics, This inner critic may stem from a feeling of negligence, mistakes, remorse, or dissatisfaction with self
We all suffer from these points, but the difference is that each of us controls the level of their influence on our thoughts and decisions, and most importantly, that our actions are based on motives, facts, and principles so that we do not feel negligence or mistakes in them.
I’ve heard about a successful businessman who has an unorthodox approach with it. He visualizes his inner critic as an “iguana”. He said that all of us have this “iguana” living in our minds.
When negative self-talk starts in his mind, he will shrug it off as the “iguana” blabbering (again). This is one creative way we can separate our destructive self-talk from ourselves.
And try to do something nice for someone else, The feeling of helping others is priceless. Do whatever you can to make others happy. It will make you feel great about yourself and that will give you a chance to hear encouraging words from others and from your soul.
#7 Don’t Compare Yourself with Others
Comparing not right always between people, when you compare yourself to others can make you feel as if you’re not worth it. and that is because you just feel someone has more than you! or is doing better than you in any type of way brings you down. that will not help you beside it Increase the rate of low self-esteem.
And finally, your thoughts might be wrong because you don’t know anything about other people you just know what you see! what about the inner suffering! The moral, material, and family problems or emotional relationships that can destroy a person.
Always remember There is no such thing as a life that’s better than yours. Don’t be so hard on yourself if things don’t go exactly as you want them to.
Try to Know your own personal value. Because there is no human being created without benefit or without value or without positives, even those with special needs get championships in the Olympics now everywhere and every time and everyone sees them on television, you have a value that you only need to explore and then develop and build on
This book can help you > Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
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#8 Avoid Negative People and negative thoughts
Don’t ever spend your time thinking about something or someone that makes you sad, angry, or insecure. Do the things that you love to do to occupy your mind. If you are busy doing things you love to do, you will not find the time to dwell on negativity.
Everything really bad comes out of emptiness! actions, thoughts, and words, if the mind is not busy with something positive
Avoid anyone who treats you badly as this will affect your feelings and make you feel bad about yourself. Do not be given an opportunity to judge you or give you a false perception of yourself. Because of the negative perception of people leads you to start believing those negative thoughts about you. When it comes to your self-esteem, only your opinion matters.
Surrounding yourself with positive people will only make you act positively. Negative people and their talk can cause you to respond negatively, so Don’t allow negative thoughts to manage your behavior or make you feel bad, because When you feel bad, you will only remember bad times. and this won’t help you to high self-esteem.
This book can help you > Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yo`urself
#9 Do something that you love to try
If you feel resentment, upset, and low spirits, try to travel to spend the vacation in a place you always dreamed of visiting, try to stay away from everyone, and enjoy a few days in a beautiful place.
Or try something new that you enjoy and wish to do for a long time, or something that may seem crazy but will make you happy, but you are afraid of the look of others, or there is something that stops you, do not care about anything just do what makes you happy and do it directly without thinking, this will enhance your spirits and boost your low self-esteem.
This book can help you > No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Updated)
#10 Fake it until you make it
Who are the most influential people on you or the most famous and successful artists or celebrities? You admire them, or an ordinary person you know personally but admire his personality and charisma
you can start model their body language and behaviors. Confident people speak with certainty, tend to shake hands firmly, don’t seek attention, make eye contact, They don’t pass judgment, listen more than they speak, speak clearly and stand tall, They aren’t afraid to be wrong, They celebrate other people’s successes. When we adopt their body language and behaviors, people will treat us with respect. which in turn, makes us feel confident, and that boosts low self-esteem. you can read more about big 5 personality traits and the 16 types of personality.
Please remember that kind of changes in habit or mindset takes time, Be kind to yourself, and give yourself time to change. You will not be a confident superstar immediately after applying all the tips above.
If you’ve been having low self-esteem for years, you can’t just switch to being a confident person in 1 month. Don’t suddenly start pressuring yourself to accept something different than what you are used to for years.
Good Self-Esteem Will Make You Feel Great About Yourself and you will feel with big differences when you do the change from low self-esteem to high self-esteem, it will make you feel free to put different plans for your personal life, your goals and dreams.